14) 'After the Lovin’ (or, ‘Before You Ask for the Divorce’) ‘The Eleven Essential Steps to the Mythical Mastery of Divorce’

 

T

he party’s over.  Everyone out of the pool!  Most women spend the year prior to a divorce emotionally divorcing themselves.  Most men spend the year prior to a divorce hiding the money.

What's a woman to do?!

1.    1) Before you get married, acknowledge at what you’re good (e.g. budgeting) and at what you’re not so good (e.g. depression spending).  Decide if you want a pre-nuptial agreement.  Meet with a financial planner; meet with a marital attorney.  Review what you own and owe (a Balance Sheet or Net-Worth Statement) and what comes in and out, and, when (an Income Statement and/or a Cash-Flow Statement and/or a Budget).  Pull your credit reports.

2.  2) Discuss Money.    Discuss goals, values, lifestyle, risk tolerance, strengths & weaknesses, and DISCLOSURE (paychecks, bank accounts, taxes, debt & credit).  Who’s going to handle what?  Is there going to be ‘your’ money, ‘my’ money, and ‘our’ money?  (For bill paying and/or investing).  Are their credit issues?  Do you want to file joint tax returns? (There are pros & cons such as liability, privacy and tax benefits/penalties).

3.    3) Learn about Money.  You don’t have to get a college degree or watch the stock report.  Just stay aware of news reports, articles, overheard conversations, and ask questions, even when you think they’re dumb, because people will enjoy impressing you with their wisdom and information.  Research with the web; go to the Learning Annex for an evening.

4.    4) Stay Involved.  Notice what bills do, or don’t, come in the door.  Notice if there are ATM statements.  Are the bills paid?  Is the insurance paid and up-to-date?  What’s the bank balance?  What are the credit card balances and other debts?  Are the taxes filed?  Are they paid?  Did you receive a refund?   Is there a list of  where to find things, does someone know where it is?  If there’s an emergency, do you or they know who to call, what medical decisions are to be made?  Where documents are?  (e.g. Health Care Proxies, Living Wills, Durable Powers-of-Attorney, Wills, Trusts, bank books, bank branches, contact information for doctors and financial advisors)

5.    5) Take Inventory.

a.    Gather all important documents (in private?) and photocopy them (e.g. bank statements, brokerage & retirement statements, paystubs & benefits statements, tax returns, insurance policies, legal documents, important bills & credit card statements, tax returns, legal documents).

b.    Investigate areas of which you have heightened awareness (e.g. is the ‘cash’ in the house?  Are important items missing?  Are the charge cards being driven up, or the bank account being wiped out?  Is the Safe Deposit key there?  Are there repeated ATM transactions from a machine in a neighborhood not near his office or home?  How about credit card charges at odd locations or vendors?)

6.    6) Make an Emergency Plan.  If you’re thinking about these things, chances are he has.  Do you have emergency cash?  An ATM card?  A checkbook?  Credit cards in your own name?  Money stashed away that no one can block?  Jewelry or other valuables?  Do you have keys, a car, and a telephone?  How about clothes?  Do you have a friend to call and a place to stay, if something comes ‘out of left field’?

7.    7) Monitor.  ‘Is inventory’ changing?

8. 8) Learn about Divorce. There’s my website’s ‘Forms and Articles’ (www.SimonsFinancialNetwork.com).  There are others, such as the Association of Divorce Financial Planners, which I helped found and Chaired (www.divorceandfinance.org), there’s the web, and there are books, Divorce Magazine, seminars, and consultations with divorce financial planners, mediators, and attorneys (and if you consult with an attorney, and then don’t engage them, they are prohibited from consulting with him!)

9.    9) Assemble a Team.    More often than not, the ‘man’ in the relationship’ has the financial team.  He has a broker, an insurance agent, an accountant, and maybe, a lawyer.  “He knows how to talk their language”; “he understands finance, and knows the jargon”.  “Don’ you wurry yur pretty little head, darlin’, I’ll take care of everythang”.  Men don’t expect you to be able to hire an ‘A-Team’, much less so quickly; it doesn’t dawn on them.  There are Divorce Financial Planners, like me, Divorce Mediators (I’m trained), Attorneys who mediate, collaborate (including interdisciplinary, i.e. specially trained attorneys, mental health professionals, and financial pros), or litigate, Private Detectives, Forensic  Accountants (how’s that for scaring off pants?), Actuaries for valuing pensions and annuities,  business valuators, tech specialists, Real Estate Appraisers, Mortgage Brokers, Bankers, the IRS, Family Courts, co-workers, neighbors, etc. who can be your educators, support, advocates, White Knights, or Hired Guns.  If you look, you’ll find moral, if not compassionate ones.  Meet them, feel them out, price them out; decide what you need, and what you can afford.  Let them know what you expect of them (e.g. behavior, goals, and returning phone calls within set limits, to work with other team members).  Negotiate compensation (including non-financial, such as press or referrals) and payment arrangements.  (This will be excellent experience for the divorce proceedings!)  You also should work with a personal mental health professional, and decide if you desire a confidante.  Men don't expect this; men don’t like this.  But, alas, a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

     10) Make a Plan.  Speak with all the members, create a plan, state the plan, create a strategy.  Decide who you want to Captain the team.

     11) Engage the Divorce.  Separate part of yourself from yourself to become the ‘CEO’.  The mindset of the CEO is that she comes from power and confidence.  She arrives with power and confidence.  She has others who support and represent her, and they blaze her way so that she may enter unencumbered, and without distraction or disturbance.  Others will speak for her in certain matters, while she sits silently wearing her best Poker Face; this way, when she does elect to speak - everyone listens!  The CEO controls the negotiations.  The CEO makes tough decisions with their stakeholders in mind.  Be smart, listen to council, speak your mind, reflect, make decisions.  Coordinate the team.  Take care of your emotional self (behind closed doors unless it serves a greater purpose). 

So, okay, you wanna hear Engelbert sing it? After the Lovin' by Engelbert Humperdinck

For more information, go to www.SimonsFinancialNetowrk.com and see ‘Forms & Articles’

13) Why a Nup?

Note: This article does NOT include legal advice, which must be offered by a licensed attorney.  

Y

ou may not mind if your marriage is like a Marx Brothers film, but you may mind if your divorce becomes a painful, frustrating farce.

            Enter, the Pre-Nuptial Agreement.

            Divorce is common, and the odds are against you:  50% of first marriages end in divorce, 67% of second marriages and 75% of third marriages.  And, it’s hard enough emotionally, psychologically, and financially, not to mention dealing with kids, family, friends, assets, a home, a job, and life in general.

            Divorce often feels like failure.  And if you're the one being left, you may be destroyed in any number of ways, with no emergency plan, no plan for rebuilding your life, and no energy to get out of bed.

            To add insult to your injury, do you really want the details of your marriage and divorce to become public knowledge via the Court System?!

            Aside from being a responsible citizen by not clogging the court system, and being a responsible member of society by not giving lawyers fodder for litigation, and being a responsible individual & parent by keeping your money for yourself, rather than donating it to your attorney, do you really want money and children to become pawns or weapons in a battle with your about-to-be former partner?

            You need to keep all of this out of the way in order to deal with the hurt, pain, and the process of redefining your life, and moving on to, once again, pursue happiness.

            Aside from the romance of marriage, it is a legal contract.  Good business people plan for dissolution of a partnership prior to entering into one.  Isn't marriage a higher priority, if not sacred?  Shouldn't you be smart, too?

            Getting money and related issues addressed up front helps to manage expectations, and allows you to focus on the love and romance, rather than having to connive behind the scenes.

            A pre-nup might cover what belongs to whom, who will pay for what, household responsibilities, vacations & lifestyle, assets & purchases, taxes, investing, estate planning, children & money, retirement, disability, long-term care, death, other, non financial responsibilities, and anything else you negotiate from children’s religious exposure, to weight management,  to smoking, alcohol, drugs, sex, where you live, travel, time management, and conflict resolution.

            People often design a clear vision of their wedding, even their honeymoon; why not have a marriage vision, mission, and plan?  Isn't it important enough?

            Marriage takes work.  Love is only the starting point.  There needs to be communication, compassion, and compromise.  If you know what you each expect of each other, you may actually make each other happy, and avoid, or mitigate, your honeymoon quickly devolving into a long, slow, chronic, depressing nightmare.

            Wouldn't that be nice?  Wouldn't that be living the fairy tale or, maybe Heaven-on-Earth?  Isn't that what you really want?

            A pre-nup isn't the end of the romance.  It takes it to a higher plane by clearing the path for happiness, since it addresses your individual, emotional issues like security, fidelity, friendships, values, and life goals.  It creates trust rather than hampering or ignoring it.

             It allows informed decision-making for when one switches from their rose-colored glasses to another pair, or when one steps off a pedestal to be seated on a throne.

            And it can be amended.  In fact, post-nuptial agreements, where recognized by State Courts, may be stronger than pre-nuptial ones since they imply greater knowledge about one another, now that you're already married.

            So you tell me: do you want to be a divorce statistic, or increase the odds of living happily ever after?

 For more information, go to www.SimonsFinancialNetowrk.com and see ‘Forms & Articles

12) Suffering but Surviving

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t’s hot.  It’s really hot.  I‘m challenged by the heat; I get ‘brain-fry’.  I’ve been attending Bikram Yoga - the heated yoga - for the last eight years, in order to learn to master it.  It’s mind over matter.  But I have no motivation; it’s body over mind.

I like the cold; that’s why I visit Iceland and Sweden, and live by the shore in the summers.

The week of Memorial Day, three of my four air conditioners died, along with a fan, two vacuum cleaners, two barbeque grills, and two computers.  Mind over matter.  I looked to Neptune since no other retrograde planet made sense (- not necessarily, that Neptune did).

People are out of work, it’s summer, it’s 100°+; new record temperatures.  People are dehydrated, people are depressed; the nation’s psyche is depressed, but I sense has now lived with it so long, that we’re burying it alive and trying to cope.  Therapists, my best source of referrals, tell me that the Nation has lost hope and that, that’s a dangerous place to be.

The Gulf continues to be assaulted, Afghanistan’s ramping up, Israel’s playing tough and the referees have called them ‘off-sides’; are The Four Horseman saddling up?  On the other hand, the stock market climbed (recovered) an amazing amount Wednesday (and a good amount on Thursday), and the attendees at the World Cup, Earth’s most popular sport, are sitting in autumn & winter jackets to watch two first-time finalists, Spain and the Netherlands (Sun. 7/11, 2pm ET).  (What’s the difference between Holland and the Netherlands?)

I’m trying to work, but the heat is overwhelming.  Intermittently, I have to go to the back yard of the ‘Country Castle’ and step into my 8’ x 4’ x 18” inflatable pool, and sit in my floating chair.  The chair has a cup holder and head rest.  The pool is surrounded by my two beach chairs, my two plastic, melon-colored  Adirondack chairs, and flanked by the 9’ lifeguard chair I built with a friend (it 'cracks me up').  My father always says it’s good to be able to entertain myself.

My arms stick to the desk chair’s.  I feel like I should be working more.  However, I do work hard, often long, and I’m constantly improving my ‘working smart’.  One of my two majors at NYU was Management, but being a full-fledged entrepreneur is not ‘corporate’.  I have to be the ‘professional’ (financial planner), the manager, and the salesperson - it’s like spinning plates on Ed Sullivan.

I want to do more public speaking; that’s where I shine.

It’s better to do something, rather than nothing, when there’s work to be done.  Be flexible.  The staff is working, albeit with smart breaks.

I’ve built the infrastructure of my practice and now can handle more clients; however, I want to be very selective about who we engage.  We serve single women, or women who ‘run’ the family money.  We’d like investment clients, because it’s one of our favorite specialties.  And, we’d like busy, high-income women (A&E professionals or executives/entrepreneurs) who need us to be her personal CFO.

I think entrepreneurs average about seven businesses before they strike success.  I think it’s 90% of new businesses go under in their first five years (I have 30 next February).  I believe, according it’s the Harvard study that concluded if you have goals and write them down, you are 10,000 times more likely to achieve them.  But, you must take action; yet, you have to balance doing with being.  However, beware the entrepreneurs’ credo: “Ready, FIRE!  Aim.”

Schedule down time and a vacation.  Be flexible if the opportunity finds you rather than you pursuing it.  Live for today; plan for tomorrow.

Hang on for one more day.  Or even one more hour.

11) The Anguish of Relaxation

D

o you find relaxing a challenge?  I do.  (Bugs Bunny, “Agony, agony, agony, agony”.)

It’s an acquired skill for me, a self-proclaimed workaholic with a very high energy level, who had always focused on ‘doing’ instead of ‘being’.  One girlfriend broke up with me because she said I had too much energy.  I feel like I missed part of my college and fraternity experience since I held two jobs, one full-time while taking a full course load, lived in the fraternity house, saw family, had a girlfriend, and a full social calendar all over the North East.  When my marriage was on the rocks, the counselor told me to stop for lunch.  It was only then, that I began to focus on Being as well as Doing.

When I got out of college, I bought a time-share in the Poconos because the salesman told me that this way I knew I’d take a vacation at least once a year.  At that point, I started to schedule my vacations.  I thought that I could handle being busy 24/7 but eventually it catches up.  People experience burn-out, overload, not getting it done, not knowing where to start, feeling overwhelmed, getting depressed, becoming anxious, self-medicating, prescribed medications, feeling suicidal, nervous breakdowns, divorce, committing suicide!

Americans don’t vacation enough or take enough breaks.  The world is learning our bad habits (e.g. the Japanese have nervous breakdowns, the Canary Islands has been reducing siesta).  We need to learn from the older societies how to pace ourselves and live for today even if we want to plan for tomorrow.

Americans revolve around time and money.  Peter Lorre has a great line in Bogey’s ‘Beat the Devil', “Time, time; what is time?  The Swiss manufacture it, French hoard it, Italians squander it, Americans say it is money, [the] English say it does not exist.  You know what I say?  I say time is a crook.”

In the 1960’s we were told that we’d soon see a 4-day workweek due to technology; the leisure industry would see massive growth.  Instead, our workweeks increased from 40 hours.  I think it’s Strategic Coach who realized that if we could work 24/7, we still could not get it all done.  Therefore, it’s a matter of smarter, not longer.

Time management is taught by life and business coaches.  We’re told that we need to rest and refresh in order to be smarter.  The brain and our bodies are clearer and we make better decisions, like prioritizing.

We’re supposed to schedule ‘down time’ at the beginning of the calendar quarter because it, otherwise, is subordinated and never executed.

I recommend that your ‘down time’ be about 30% of your days.  This converts to all weekends, Federal Holidays and a one week vacation per calendar quarter.

The problem, for me, becomes settling down.

You suddenly have free time, and you feel like you’re supposed to be doing something!  You get anxious and bored; you argue with close ones.  Moreover, if your vacation is only one-week, you’re often not finally feeling relaxed until the last day!

(This leads to the totally outrageous concept of a two week vacation and eventually to the concept or working remotely.  Why shouldn’t I dress the way I want, set my own schedule, and be where I want to be?  I’ve since designed my business to be portable; when clients call me, they might not know if I’m in Stockholm, Lima, Mexico, the BWI, or the Jersey Shore!)

The tricks that I use include planning & envisioning fun things, having a massage and a cocktail the first day, constantly reminding myself to stay loose and flexible, not planning my time, giving myself permission to sleep, eat, watch TV and be a vegetable.  I bring fun reading and toys/costumes/etc. that support my fun, fantasies, alter-egos, and imagination.  I have an extra cocktail, try new things, and do my favorites; I explore, interact, balance.

I don’t bring business projects, business reading, or engage in business telecommunications, and I don’t check e-mail.

The shift may be a challenge, but it becomes a cool and important one - another healthy life skill.  Try it!  Practice.

Aloha!

P.S. Make your life better; see www.SimonsFinancialNetwork.com ‘Links’ and ‘Forms & Articles’.

10) The Benefits of Budgeting

D

id you ever try to do anything that took aim?  Drive a car?  Parallel park a car?  Shoot a bow and arrow?  Ring toss on the boardwalk?  Shuffleboard?  Horse Shoes?  ‘Sink a basket’?  Throw a ball?  Thread a needle?  Click a mouse?  Step off the curb?  Pour boiling water?  Cut an onion?  Put on lipstick?  Scratch your head?  Put food in your mouth?  Pee?!

            Your aim doesn’t have to be exact, but it guides you in the right direction.  Eventually, with practice, you perform unconsciously or at a gut level.  But the skills always start with slow, concerted movements, focus and concentration.  And these skills that can be developed into an art.

Well a budget is financial aim.  It helps you to target how much money you’ll need for something.  Something like food, clothing, shelter, taxes, personal care, travel & entertainment, school, retirement, a car, burial!

            Some people have too much month left at the end of the money.  They think they know that they earn enough, but it always seems that they run out of money too soon; why?  There are two possible reasons: 1) they don’t earn enough/spend too much, and/or 2) they do earn enough but it’s a matter of when their money comes in & goes out.  This second concept isknown as cash flow.  Their money comes in at a time other than when they need it to spend.

Just like the tides, or your breath, money must flow.  It flows in and it flows out.  Sometimes there’s a full moon or new moon, which will affect the tides; sometimes you breathe heavily and sometimes normally.  So it goes with money.

Sometimes you have to pay for holidays, vacations, tuition, emergencies, taxes.  Sometimes you get raises, have a ‘good month’, earn a bonus, win a lottery, inherit or receive a tax refund or stock dividend.

Therefore, the question becomes, not only, how much goes in and out, but when does it go in and out?

To figure this out requires doing only one good budget in your lifetime.  I’m probably the only financial planner who will ever tell you this, but it’s true.  One good budget, and you’re set for life.  Why?  Because by the time, you’re an adult, your values and spending habits are mostly in place.  (Although, yes, you can change them.  See below.)

What I mean by this, is that you already kind of know where and how you like to spend your money.  Do you walk/bike or take subways & buses or do you take the car/taxis?  Do you cook or eat out/take-out?  Does your wardrobe go in the washer or to the cleaners?  Do you clean your house or does someone else?  Do you camp or stay in 5-star hotels?

This is your personal business - not your professional career.  It’s no one else’s business - unless you share your life (significant other, kids, cats).

Therefore, you can now make a list of these items and their amounts.

This exercise is enlightening, fascinating, possibly scary, possibly depressing.  But you’re the CEO of your personal business, and you’re responsible to you, your stakeholders, and maybe others.  Seeing the numbers, which don’t lie, raises awareness, challenges values, changes habits.

Sometimes it’s easier to do this exercise on a Friday night with a glass of wine (or two), but in one sitting to ensure you finish.  You’ll never have to do it again; I give you permission.  You can even go to www.SimonsFinancialNetwork.com and download ‘SFN - Budget & Cash Flow List’ and ‘SFN - Budget & Cash Flow Worksheet’ and print out multiple copies.

Whether you do your budget on a yellow legal pad or accounting paper or my forms or in Excel or Quicken-type software, make this list.  Get a calculator, too.  This list will include your Inflows and your Outflows.

First, list the items that reoccur every month like income, food, clothing and shelter.  Estimating is fine so long as you’re close; otherwise get out the checkbook register and/or invoices and/or bank & charge card statements and confirm the numbers.  Average them if you must.  Then write them down in pencil or a way that easily allows you to change the numbers later - just in case.

If you’re not sure of the numbers, or don’t have access to records, visualize; ‘walk’ your way through your spending.  For instance, let’s say you’re going to the supermarket; try to remember what the bill at the register usually comes to.  Let’s say you go to market once a week and spend about $25; how much is that per month?

If you answered $100, you’re wrong!

There are 52 weeks in a year; if you divide 52 by 12 months, you get 4.3.  There are 4.3 weeks in the average month.  So 4.3 weeks x $25/week = $107.50/month.

If you have only 4 weeks in the month (x 12 months), you’ll only have 48 weeks in your year!  And right up front, your budget is off by a month!

Okay, so how do you shop for clothing?  Do you go on 3 big sprees a year of $300?  That’s $900/year.  That’s $75/month average.

Let’s say you take one big vacation per year.  Everyone needs to vacation.  All of Europe seems to get 4 weeks or more, so it’s important to rest, refresh and de-stress.

So, let’s say you always budget $2,000. (By the way, this concept is good for other, big, periodic expenditures, such as Christmas).  But every time you return home, you find that you spent closer to $3,000.  What happened?!  The short answer is to stop lying to yourself about what it really costs or needs to be; stop deceiving yourself.  You’re the CEO of your personal business, so step up, take responsibility, make some value judgments and budget the correct amount.  You’ll actually feel better, too, for learning to ‘take the bull by horns’ and make the tough decisions.

Oh, you forgot that the car to/from the airport would be an extra $150.  And while you were away, you decided to dine a little better than you thought you would.  And you were so stressed out that you got a hot rock massage and your hair braided.  And you found just the right bathing suit/sandals/dress/ski pants/jewelry.  And there were waterfalls on the other side of the island that you didn’t know about.  And you found just the right memento. Oh, and a collectible for your co-worker’s office collection of glass figurines.  Of course, you had to buy a few little gifts to bring home for people.  And you ended up having such a good time, that you tipped everyone well.  And there was airport transportation on the other side!  And foreign immigration made you pay a departure fee!  In cash!!

Then you’re on the plane home and you start, “Oh my god, I spent all of my money and then used credit cards.  The bills will be enormous”.  And you start to stress out so much that by the time you get home, all your ‘west and wewaxation’ is TOTALLY SHOT!  “AAAHHHHHHHH!”  says blockhead Charlie Brown.

So don’t lie.  If you always do this, and therefore know that you need $3,000 for your budget, you’ll have to find that extra $1,000 from other places.

Maybe you can now make an executive decision to bring your lunch to work once per week, and eat dinner out one fewer time per month, and get your nails done a little less frequently, and take some subways here and there, so that over the course of the year, you have the extra $1,000!

Now, aren’t you proud of yourself?!  (Give yourself credit.)  You’re getting the guiltless vacation you deserve for the price you’ve budgeted, you’re a little healthier from taking your lunch and cooking your dinner (so the portions/calories and food groups are right) and best of all, you spent your money on purpose, instead of by accident.  You’ve made conscious, deliberate decisions, an excellent, values-based, life skill!

So, if you’re going to purposely think through this budget, you’ll never have to do it again.  Instead, once in a while (e.g. once per month, once per year, when your rent changes), you simply go back to the budget you’ve created and change that one number!  You don’t have to re-do the entire budget!  It will last forever, so long as you periodically update it.  In addition, you should use it as a management tool to guide your decisions.

Now, a word about when you spend your money.

Let’s say that you go to the butcher, the baker, and the candlestick maker weekly and/or monthly, you go to the cobbler periodically, and the vacation is annual.  For monthly budget purposes, you, either, have to multiply/divide the numbers appropriately, and put the average monthly amounts in your budget - or you need to do 12 side-by-side budgets on the kitchen table - one for January, one for February, etc.  Items like groceries will go on all 12; the vacation will only go on one.  Your paycheck will go on all 12 as an inflow (vs. outflow), but your bonus will only go on one or two as will your tax refunds.

When you total everything, you’ll know which months may fall short, which ones may have extra, and then you can ‘sandbag’ the extras for the months that fall short.

The savings for the ‘short’ months should go into a separate savings account (e.g. a web bank like ING Direct, Emigrant Direct, HSBC) to prevent temptation in the meantime.  Until you have an adequate emergency fund (e.g. 3-12 months of BUDGET - not income), it can function as an emergency fund, opportunity fund or simply as a buffer against issues like deposits that need time to clear.

If that vacation will cost $3,000, which is $250 per month into savings, it should be added to this separate savings account.  It should be added, not necessarily monthly, but per paycheck!

Do you know how to eat an elephant?  One bite at a time!  Bite-size, small pieces, slow and steady.

Note that there’s a difference between getting paid twice a month (= 24 times/year), and every two weeks (52 weeks/2 weeks = 26 paychecks).  Either way, $125 auto-deducted twice per month when you get paid is usually easier than waiting to do a bigger amount less frequently (that may have ‘accidently’ been spent on a new pair of shoes…).  If you do ‘steal’ from yourself, it will be to a much smaller degree.

Some final thoughts.

‘Cash is King’ means many things.  Here, you should mark those budget items that can be spent in cash (e.g. groceries, dry cleaning, movie tickets, dining).  This is due to my contention that when you see the ‘green’ wrestled from your fist, your values will also come into play.  Too many people purchase based on price rather than value.

It’s a lot easier to buy a meal with ‘plastic’ and then pay a monthly credit card bill on the web, than it is to wrestle your currency out of your fist.  Even if it’s the breakfast special for $5.95 (w/tax & tip: $8?), did you really need to eat bacon?  How about egg yolk?  What about the buttered toast & jelly?  The 3^rd cup of coffee?  The potatoes?  You may be healthier and thinner, if you change this.  On the other hand, if it’s the only time you treat yourself, and get out and get away and get sunlight, maybe the management decision is to do so.  Spend cash whenever reasonable; you can still get a receipt and the transaction & accounting is easier.  COD.  KISS (Keep It Super-Simple - no name-calling).

If you’re going to spend cash, I recommend that you make a list of these weekly items to carry on your person.  Add them up.  Round the total up to the next multiple of $20, so that all ATM machines will spit it out.  Pull it all at once.  The little extra rounding is ‘mad money’ - have a ball.  Buy a lottery ticket.  (See www.SimonsFinancoalNetwork.com for ‘What to Do if You Win the Lottery’.)

Choose a key day of the week to withdraw your ‘weekly living allowance’.  Thursday or Friday could be bad if you’re suspect to blowing it on Cosmopolitans at a TGIF event.

If the amount of your living allowance is substantial for you, then keep little check-size envelopes in your underwear drawer, labeled ‘dry cleaning’, ‘groceries’, ‘A&E’, etc. and stash those amounts until needed.  Again, if you steal from yourself, it will be smaller amounts, and it may be that you decided to spend your A&E money on clothing instead - a management decision - spending on purpose.

At the end of the day, dump all of your coins into a bowl and let them collect.  Ben Franklin did not say, ‘a penny saved is a penny earned’, he said, “a penny saved is tuppence” - two pennies - because you take the penny you saved and invest it (capitalism), and it earns another penny.  By the end of the year, it may be a few hundred dollars, a Roth IRA contribution, the Christmas tips for your doormen, or a new dress for New Year’s.

Fiscal Fitness.  Thriftiness,  Smart Money Management.  Financial Acumen.  Higher Values.  Life Skills.  Empowerment.  Pride.  Honor.  Confidence.  Stress-free Happiness & Contentment.

            Eventually, you can learn to manage your money for a week at a time at a gut level.  Then you can learn to manage your money for a month at a time, then a year at a time, and, finally, for a lifetime.

            Qapla’  (Success!)